Mahoning Valley Hitmen

Hitmen Game Canceled

ohioderby — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 16:20:52 +0000

Jim Terry admitted defeat to the Mahoning Valley Thunder yesterday by canceling his FREE games to honor the Thunder’s home opener. “The Thunder are a tremendous organization, I only wish I was like them,” stated Terry.

“It would be stupid for me to think I can compete with an organization such as the Thunder so I canceled the game. I am mentally retarded but I am not a vegetable.”

“The Thunder are so amazing and would beat my Hitmen by 30-40 points I am just proud to say that I am in the same valley as they are. I lose and they win I will admit that.”

Terry said the 250 Mark Terry bobble heads will be distributed to gay bars around the Hollywood area. “We all know my brother moved to California because of the lack of queer life in Youngstown. I miss being swapped up by my brother, but I have his bobble head now and it will help me and now the gay bars in the Hollywood area,” Jim Terry said with a smile on his face.

Tickets Sold Out

ohioderby — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 00:15:07 +0000

Mark Terry Bobble Head night is sold out. Everyone is free, free, free!!!!!!! “We will have more people then the Thunder,” said Jim Terry. The Thunder game is almost sold out and tickets cost money, but my show is better and my players make double then anyother AFL2 player.”

Mark Terry said he is excited about his bobble head. “This is the 1st time my head is bobbling with swaping a dude up. It’s pretty neat now my brother can use it when I’m in Hollywood if you know what I mean.”

EIFL ON ESPN Coverage Map

ohioderby — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 02:56:41 +0000

ESPN announced it’s coverage map for the EIFL on ESPN for this Saturday’s game

The EIFL Caring for it’s Players

ohioderby — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:27:37 +0000

(Above the EIFL’s front office staff)

Today EIFL commissioner Jim Terry, and EIFL media director Mark Terry talked about how much they care for EIFL players. Matt Holem was seriously injured playing EIFL football, the most serious injury to league history. However, Jim Terry did not have insurance for his players.

Hoelm was helped out by the good guys at Front Line Insurance because they said, “it was the right thing to do.”

Today Jim Terry and Mark Terry showed how much the EIFL is grateful for the play of its leagues athletes. Jim Terry said, “Any chance you can get me a copy of the medical injuries you say you got while playing for the Buzzards vs the Panthers? Can I also get the number to the last company you worked for that you say laid you off because you got hurt? Your full of shit and lied about this whole thing,” when addressed about the situation. Take note that Jim caused the injury and will no accept responsibility for his leagues actions, and will run away from problems like a little bitch he and his brother are.

Despite appearing in several Hollywood block busters this up coming summer, Mark Terry was available for comments on other league players, “It is not Jims responsibility to give this goon a contact. If he didn’t keep the contact or ask for a copy of something he signed he is a dumb ass.”

The EIFL caring for its players!

Jim Terry’s Top 10 Reasons to Watch the Hitmen This Friday

ohioderby — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 22:05:09 +0000

Thanks to ysuwin on mooheadradio’s messageboard for conducting an interview with Jim Terry as to why you should watch the MV Hitmen this Saturday as opposed to the MV Thunder.

Reminder it is Mark Terry Bobble Head Night!

10. AFL teams can’t make money

9. Only go to the Chevy Centre is you want to see what a 6,000 seat arena looks like with 4,000 people in it

8. I will pay the my players twice as much as the Thunders

7. I’m not going anywhere, I will be here next year, and the Thunder won’t

6. I have 800 season ticket holders

5. The Thunder are afraid of me

4. I will have a national T.V. contract

3. Come watch Maurice Clarett play for the Hitmen

2. My players will be covered with insurance, and naming rights of the Thunder Dome cost Front Line Insurance six figures

and the number one reason why you should watch the Hitmen over the Thunder on Saturday night…..

1. You are stupid if you think there won’t be any homicides at a Thunder game this season

Hitmen Fall to Panthers

ohioderby — Sun, 25 Mar 2007 15:35:24 +0000

Despite Lebron James being in house, the Mahoning Valley Hitmen lost soul possession of 1st place in an embarrassing 56-6 loss to the North East Ohio Panthers. Ray the riffle Marrow suffered one of the worst games in EIFL history by tossing 5 interceptions and was 5 of 32 passing for 22 yards in no touchdowns.

“The NE Ohio Panthers are such a great franchise,” stated Hitmen coach/owner and G.M. Jim Terry. “I knew coming into the game we were going to lose, I knew I was going to get out coached.”

Mark Terry got the night started as he made his way to mid field prior to kick off. The fans chanted, “say it, say it, say it.” Mark Terry took the microphone and said, “Look I’m a Cowboy, howdy howdy howdy.” The place went nuts laughing at Mark Terry historically.

It was Mark Terry night, as Paramount Pictures handed out Brokeback Mountain II movie posters. “We had a problem with fans making paper air planes out of them,” said Jim Terry. It was not a good idea. Mark Terry spent most of the night lonely as not one person posed for a picture, or got an autograph from him.

The sale out crowd matched the most people in EIFL history. Jim said, “Those 4 to 5 Internet hatters aren’t talking now.”

Lebron James was on hand as he was the Hitmens special guest. You cannot go anywhere, or watch any channel without hearing something about the EIFL. I had to check this phenomenon out. Maybe the Cavs will play some games at this beautiful facility they call the Thunderdome.”

Hitmen fans are reminded that next Saturday is Mark Terry bobble head night, as well as free night. The first 250 Hitmen fans receive a free Mark Terry bobble head doll sponsored by Paramount Pictues.

Hitmen Battle Panthers on Mark Terry Night

ohioderby — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 16:00:30 +0000

The Mahoning Valley Hitmen battle the North East Ohio Panther’s tonight in an important EIFL game. This game is a battle for 1st place as the Hitmen can clinch at least a share of the EIFL regular season title with a win. It is also Mark Terry night.

The Hitmen downed the Panthers in a thrilling 46-43 win in week 2 of the season. Ironically that was the last game ether team played, as unbalanced scheduling gave both teams over a month’s bye.

A win for the Panthers gives them a two way tie for 1st place on top of the EIFL standings.

This game features the EIFL’s biggest rivalry. ESPN.com compared this rivalry to the Lakers and Clippers. It’s much the same as both teams battle for fan support in the booming city of Masury.

Fans are reminded that tickets are entirely sold out for tonight’s game. It’s also Schedule magnet night as the 1st 500 fans will receive a free MV Hitmen schedule magnet. But the main event for tonight is the theatrics of Hollywood Movie star Mark Terry. Mark Terry will make a special appearance at tonight’s game, and will sign autographs and take pictures. All fans in attendance will receive a free Mark Terry Brokeback Mountain II movie poser courtesy of Paramount Pictures.

New Promotion for Tomorrows Game

ohioderby — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 22:17:02 +0000

The Mahoning Valley Hitmen, and Paramount Pictures are proud to announce that all fans at the Hitmen game tomorrow will receive a free movie poster for Mark Terry’s new movie. All fans in attendance will receive a Brookeback Mountain II movie poster with the sequels star Mark Terry.

Fans will be able to get their movie poster signed by Terry as he will make a special appearance at the Hitmens March 24th game. Tickets are on sale now at the MV Hitmen box office, as well as ticketmaster.com.

Hitmen Vs. Panthers

ohioderby — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 21:27:20 +0000

vs.

Tickets are going fast for tomorrows MV Hitmen vs. NE Ohio Panthers game. Seats still remain by logging onto ticketmaster.com. Fans will be able to meet Hollywood actor Mark Terry, and the 1st 500 Hitmen fans will be treated to a MV Hitmen Schedule Magnet. Kick-Off is set for 7:00pm E.S.T.

EIFL ON ESPN

ohioderby — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 19:41:40 +0000

Tuesday’s Hitmen game will air on ESPN2 at 7:00P.M. E.S.T.

The game will be preempted by a special Saturday edition of EIFL Gameday. Chris Fowler, Kirk Herbstreit and Lee Corso takes you up to game time from 6-7.

ESPN has announced that the Monday Night Football broadcast team of Mike Tirico, Tony Kornheiser and Joe Theismann will handel the play-by-play action.

This is the 1st EIFL game to air on the ESPN family of networks since the EIFL inaugural game. ESPN will announce the coverage map sooner this week.